I enjoyed reading Heather Roberts words. I hope you do too. I’m sure many can relate to her fears. My hope is her story will encourage you to attend a conference despite your trepidation.
“You don’t belong here.”
“You have no idea what you are doing.”
“Did you really hear from Him?”
My thoughts pinch worse than my high heel shoes as they click on the stone stairs. Stairs rising toward the wooden doors beckoning I enter despite my trepidation.
Deep breathe in, exhale a prayer and open the doors. The mundane process of signing into the writer’s conference soothed my nerves. Soon my critiqued book proposal was clutched in my hand yet unopened. It revealed what I already had known “serious technical errors- not ready for submission.” My eyes scoured the paper in search of the name of the professional who confirmed my fears. Dr. Dennis Hensley’s name jumped off the page a highly respected and awarded author, teacher and all around giant in the field of Christian writing.
A burning prompting emerges I must meet him, for reasons yet unknown to me.
My palms sweat as I run my finger down his sign-up page, an opening. How could this be?
I cram my terror downward and forcefully turn my body and head toward a meeting I had no idea why I was going to let alone what I would say. What do you say to a master of the craft of writing? Was I about to commit suicide to my nonexistent Christian writing career?
The stadium seat squeaked its protest as I sank into its hard confines, secretly wishing it would catapult me out.
My voice emerged, surprising me, “I came to tell you that I completely agree with the critique you gave me. I have no idea what I am doing writing.”
His response, “Well let me see what I wrote- technical difficulties, I see.” “Here’s the thing you are ahead of 90% of the people I meet. Everywhere I go people tell me they are going to write a book- ‘someday’.” “You are the only one who can take what is inside your head and put it onto paper. You can always pay someone to edit. In looking at your credentials you are the woman to write this curriculum you, young lady just need an editor.”
To this day, I still have no idea what else he said and the above is a paraphrase of what he spoke almost three years ago. I could no longer hear him the clatter of the chains falling to the floor drowned out all other reality. The blood flowed back into the areas of my Spirit previously strangled by demonic strongholds. The Lord used Dr. Hensley’s words to free me from bondage, I ignorantly fostered for years.
Freedom surged through me fortifying my commitment to the tedious, work ahead. Light streamed in where darkness had ruled a fortification of the cracks of my doubt. I could write and I will write. Walking through those doors to enter a writer’s conference was costly- obedience always is.
Obedience stormed the gates and the person who emerged from those wooden doors returned to write a new woman. Free.
More about Heather:
Heather Roberts is an ordained minister and published in Prayer Connect, Sorry Mom is Praying. Find her at http://tostrengthenamothersheart.wordpress.com and at this year’s Write to Publish conference.
What is your biggest fear in attending a conference?
I am curious to hear other people’s stories of fear they overcame to walk in His will.?
Great post! Very encouraging. I can relate to Heather. I have a book that I’ve been working on for a little over 5 years. The story was given to me in a dream, after I prayed for inspiration. I had felt compelled to write for years but had no idea what I was suppose to write. I have not gone to a conference, but I have sent my work out to some agents. Four of them were rejects, needless to say I was very discouraged and questioning myself, but one overlooked my short comings and encouraged me to continue. She has offered recommendations to help get my book ready for publishing on three separate occasions. She is a God send. I am still working on the book, but it is soooo much better than it was when I first sent it out. I have no doubt it will get there. 🙂
Heather – like you, I went into my first writing conference incredibly nervous and unsure. Why was I here, I wondered often. I had an incredibly discouraging meeting with a new editor and I decided to get in my car and flee. Writers I had just met at the conference talked me in to staying and trying again. I’m so glad I did – my book is now finished and I’m editing it. I also met writers from my locale who are now in a critique group with me. I’m so glad God met me at the conference and encouraged me to keep going, despite my writerly shortcomings! Thanks for sharing your story – it’s encouraging to know how God works in other writers’ lives.